Egg meets Sperm

Tomorrow Egg meets sperm. Finally!! Tomorrow will be such a special day. My babies are going to be made! I'm ever so grateful for the technology of IVF. Years ago if people had trouble getting pregnant they didn't have this option. It's becoming more and more common as infertility increases. I am feeling so much excitement right now. I can't believe I am already done with shots and TOMORROW is egg retrieval. I will be leaving to go North today and have about a four hour drive. My retrieval is at 7 am. I have to be there at 6:30, so it will be like going to work. Im used to getting up early and I kind of feel like a kid on Christmas eve. I feel like my life is about to change forever. We will learn so much about your eggs tomorrow, the quality, the quantity, how many are fertilized. What we learn tomorrow will be key in our future fertility journey. If the eggs are scarred from endometriosis I have the possiblitiy of never being able to have my own children. Although I feel very strongly that is NOT the case. But it will still be nice to finally have some more answers that are only discovered once taking a good look at the eggs under a microscope. I am very relaxed today and don't have very much anxiety. I am trying to prepare for the upcoming weeks by getting my house cleaned, doing laundry, eating healthy, grocery shopping, packing, showering, praying, exercising faith and trust in the Lord, and mentally preparing for all the possibilities. I feel ready.

I want to tell you that if I could take all this away and just conceive a child naturally or on my own a few years ago when we started trying, I wouldn't. I realize how difficult it can be to be a mother. Heavenly Father knows me. He knows that I needed to go through this to be a better mother. (I am NOT implying that everyone who goes through infertility wouldn't be an exceptional mother and that is why they aren't getting pregnant, I am simply telling you it is one of the reasons why GINA has gone through all of this, remember everyone's infertility story is different and that means reasons are different too, some people I have talked to say they know they didn't get pregnant because they were supposed to have the adopted child first, its different for everyone.)   I admire my friends who get pregnant so easily because I know that Heavenly Father knows them and knows that they are exceptional mothers. I look at them and know how much strength they have. I am so grateful to know that Heavenly Father is in control of everything. I have prayed to be a good mother. I recognize that Heavenly Father answers our prayers. I didn't realize this before but I do now. By waiting to give me my precious children I have developed so much love for them already and I will be a better mom. I am so grateful for a God who answers prayers. There are so many other reasons too that I feel I have gone through all of this. Going through this has been difficult for both me and Gavin. We have strengthened our marriage by helping each other go through the pains of infertility. I also know a strong marriage is also going to help us be better parents. We have learned how important family is to us. The things we have to go through and sacrifice for a chance, thats right a chance, at having a baby proves to ourselves that we really do put family first. The money we spend, the driving up north, the shots in the belly, all the appointments, all that it entails. We are willing because it is of highest importance to us. There has been no question in our mind if we will go through with whatever we have to in order to start our family.

I am happy. This is part of my story and I love it. (Most of the time)

What I am feeling physically right now:
At my last ultrasound my ovaries measured about 7 cm. Probably between the size of a baseball and softball. On Sunday I was very uncomfortable and kind of miserable. I realized half way through the day I was having hot flashes as a result from taking the Lupron. Once I realized that I also realized I had been experiencing them for a few days. I am SUPER bloated and have been for a over a week. I look preggers haha Speaking of preggers I had my FIRST EVER POSITIVE PREGNANCY test. Don't get too excited. Its from the "trigger" shot you take 36 hours before egg retrieval. It is an HCG shot hence the positive pregnancy test. You take it and call the office so they know you absorbed it. Anyways I was still excited to have a positive pregnancy test. All those months I so badly wanted that second line to show through it finally did this morning. Change of pace was nice. My belly is super sore to the touch from the many shots I have taken the last few weeks. Giving someone a hug, mostly children(that perfect height where their head pushes right into your belly)  hurts because of the squeezing of the belly. Sitting down is initially is a painful process. I try to not bend when sitting in the car. I keep my legs straight and slide into the drivers seat haha Like I said I feel pregnant and look it. Working last week was a little uncomfortable, I wore lead to protect my eggs but it also pushed on my ginormous ovaries and hurt a little but. I've been a little more tired than usual so I try to get at least 8 hours of sleep which normally I get about 5 so getting 8 is wonderful!!! And I sometimes take a nap in the middle of the day. I must be tired from my body making 25 follicles!!! Ya baby I have about 25 follicles in there!! Woot woot!!! So my ultrasounds are finished which is nice but during them the most painful part was finding my uterus. I have a retroverted uterus and my ovaries are so big they were in the way also. But I do miss seeing the PA. She was really nice and so helpful. She always put my mind at ease. Any Girls going through this in St. George will be blessed to have her. She is pretty awesome.

Tomorrow on Jan. 22 Egg will finally meet sperm. Celebrate!!! yay!! This means that embryo will finally meet uterus on Jan 27. I am sad I have to leave my babies up north without me for five days. Its kind of weird to think my babies will be growing outside of me for five days! And I will be back in St. George. I very excited for the next week. Not excited to WAIT to know if it works though!! I have to wait two weeks before a blood pregnancy test will be done. That is going to be the hardest part!!! Wish me luck. Hopefully my life is all about to change with the addition of one maybe two babies!!!!